Just Breathe

 Then one who looked like a man touched my lips, and I opened my mouth and began to speak.  I said to the one standing before me, I am overcome with anguish because of the vision, my lord, and I feel very weak.  How can I, your servant, talk with you, my lord?  My strength is gone and I can hardly breathe."  Again the one who looked like a man touched me and gave me strength.   Daniel 10: 16-18

Last week, I went out to our home to meet a representative of FEMA to confirm that our home was a total loss from the March 3rd tornado.  It has been so difficult for me to return to what's left of our home.  Driving down Highway 70 I will feel a knot forming in my throat, as I pull into the driveway there is such a heaviness that sits on my shoulders. I usually start taking deep breaths and fighting tears.  It's just so much....so many memories, so much devastation, so much thankfulness that we are alive, but some much sadness that our home is forever changed.  I think I am most sad over losing all of our trees.  We were a tree climbing, ENO hanging, shade loving bunch.  It sounds crazy, but I have really been sad over those trees.  Every time I leave the property, I leave sad, teary and unnerved.  I have been struggling with fear and anxiety.  Since that day I can so quickly get unsettled and overwhelmed.  

As many of you may know, hydrangeas have always been near and dear to my heart.  God has used them so many times to comfort and speak to me.  It makes me smile to think in the midst of this season, here they are again.  Wednesday afternoon, after my meeting with FEMA  I stayed and walked around our property, cried and tried to take it all in again.  All the emotions that I am wrestling with are paralyzing at times.....I stopped to notice that my beloved hydrangeas were beginning to wake up.  I looked closer and found this bracelet right next to the new growth breaking up from the ground surrounded by the rubble.  It reads, "In time of need, run your finger along the simple string; grasp the medal and breathe.  By simply focusing our attention on taking a breath and linking that breath to God, we can dispel chaos and go back to our spiritual roots."  I cannot remember where or when I got this bracelet. But what a sweet reminder  there covered in dirt with my beloved flower was a message for me.  Again...we must go back to our spiritual roots and connect with God.

My breaths have been labored since that early Tuesday morning.  The nightmares, the anxiety and panic attacks are real and can be paralyzing.  I often wonder if I will feel normal again or will I ever be as carefree as I have felt in the past.  I usually like to hit things head on, I don't often struggle with fear or anxiety.  I am in uncharted territory.  But here, a simply reminder to just Breathe.  I love in this picture I see both joy and pain.  I see the heart ache of insulation and broken bricks of our home, but I also see the beautiful green of my hydrangeas ready to grow into beautiful blooms.

So I want to encourage each of you to breathe.  In the midst of all the chaos surrounding us, focus on your breath.  Take a walk, sit outside, listen to the birds, look for God in all things and close your eyes and take a deep breath.....

Breathe in that God is in all things...

Breathe in that we can have both joy and pain...

Breathe in God wants good for you....

Breathe in God wants to make all things new....
Breathe in strength....

Breathe in hope...